Humor

And when it comes to Judge Kavanaugh, will we see any liberals think for themselves?

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Video of a Democrat gathering to protest Judge Kavanaugh’s hearing.

Life of Brian

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Washington Post: Trump complicit in hurricane

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The Washington Post, never one to shy away from blaming Trump whenever possible, may have jumped the shark this week.  Their editorial board has declared Trump complicit in hurricane Florence.  Obama was more complicit in be-headings than Trump could possibly be in a hurricane.

If the Post is looking for other equally preposterous things for which Trump is deserving of blame, we offer the line-up below.  Well, the Omarosa thing, yea, that one’s squarely at his feet.

  • the 1969 Mets
  • Woody Allen
  • restrictor plates at Talledaga
  • the classy love affair between Strzok and Page
  • Gamecock Football
  • the death of Frank Zappa
  • 3-clasp bra hooks
  • US heat wave of 1934
  • dark stars
  • poisonous mushrooms that look tasty
  • the heartbreak of psoriasis
  • cable TV going out last night in Buford, Wyoming
  • Angela Merkel’s failed diets
  • the broken bridge rail in Chappaquiddick
  • the ice age
  • Mario Van Peebles acting range
  • rise of Nazi Germany
  • fall of Nazi Germany
  • Madonna and Abba
  • JFK and Lee Harvey Oswald killings
  • making most women secretly attracted to Melania
  • disco
  • Daylight Savings Time
  • every girl that told Ted Cruz she just wanted to be friends
  • riptides
  • English food
  • San Fransisco sanitation
  • prepubescence
  • Apollo 13
  • cruising in the left lane
  • Godfather III
  • rationed airplane peanuts
  • Omarosa
  • Hollywood movie recycling
  • setting Millennial’s expectations too high with rise in middle class incomes and record number of jobs available

Dammit Trump lr

Our illustration above was too funny not to make a full cartoon out of it.

Dammit Trump! lr 9-15-18

Big things happening in Helsinki

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Yuge

Baby Boomers’ guide to social media and communications

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You may think that us Baby Boomers are averse to social media interactions.  In reality, we’re quite active.  It just may not seem that way to millennials.   The likely reason behind that misconception is that BB’s spend time engaging is several socializing methods other than social media.   We know how terrifying face-to-face and voice communications can be, fortunately the BB’s overcame that fear at around the age of two.

So for the benefit of whippersnappers, here are some social media communication lessons for the younger generations who are willing to share the internets.

  • Speaking in emojis can get annoying.  We know sometimes it’s clever and funny but don’t get carried away.  Neanderthals wrote in emojis but they didn’t have an alphabet.  Don’t be a Neanderthal, use the alphabet.
  • We’re most likely to use Facebook than other social media platforms such as Twitter and Instagram.  They’re all the same, right?  Besides, our kids got us started on Facebook and it seems to work fine.
  • Text us if we need to see a message that day; email us for information that should be seen that week and, even though it’s very Mayberry, use an actual phone if you need an immediate response.
  • We purposely limit the amount of personal information on-line.  No one needs to know why you were compelled to go “Code Grey” at the DMV, details on your seaweed facial fiasco, or that public message to someone that really should have been a private conversation.
  • No one cares about your lunch so no need to post pictures.  Now if it’s moving, on fire or making noise, please post plenty of video.
  • If you have a desire to post pictures of Confederacy of Drones’ staff, we’ll need written permission, sample copies of the photo, a copy of your drivers license, your mother’s maiden name, and the make and model of your first car.
  • Arguing on social media is fine, in fact we encourage it.  Name calling, cussing, and typing in all caps, though, just wastes our time.  Remember, our generation goes outside occasionally and won’t spend their life on-line.  See “How do you like them apples.”
  • We don’t measure life in “likes” or the number of “friends.”  Speaking of friends,  we don’t think you know what that word really means.
Keep in mind that BB’s invented the computer and the internet.  You’re welcome.

Pot meet kettle

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Toilet lr

Words in the news

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Who knew?  Much to our surprise it’s considered a racial slur to call someone Pocahontas.  Trump found that out this week after a tweet where he referred to Elizabeth Warren as Pocahontas, although that wasn’t the first time he’s done that.  After back lash from this recent tweet, Trump apologized by saying, “I do regret calling her Pocahontas, because I think it’s a tremendous insult to Pocahontas.”

In related news, we didn’t have a single Pocahontas show up at our door this Halloween.  There was, however, a preschooler who showed up as an old man.  I was deeply offended.

Speaking of words, did you know the Japanese have a word for being worked to death.   It’s Karoshi.   We Americans have the antonym though, couch potato.   Of course being overworked doesn’t require the English language to come up with a word, but there are a number of new words and definitions based on current events we offer up for consideration:

  • pignore – turning a blind eye in Hollywood and journalism to workplace sexual assault and harassment
  • taximonious – expecting the government to pay for things but not realizing where the government gets its money
  • testimony – having someone’s genitals in a vice in order to gain cooperation
  • Demoshat – ability to explosively crap political theater the instant a tragedy occurs
  • Republisham – inability to accomplish anything even though you own both houses of Congress and the presidency
  • twit – a person who relies entirely on Twitter to communicate
  • clinton – the act of cheating to gain an advantage
  • bernt – being cheated
  • kimduldge – fueling North Korea’s nuclear ambitions through failed diplomacy
  • beleech – destroying emails so you can continue to live off the country
  • pootinkering – election meddling
  • irangement – establishing policy that provides the Iranian government a path to nuclear weapons
  • climetastic – using any change in weather as proof that the world will end unless everyone, except celebrities, reduces their carbon footprint