Conservative

A children’s book on Socialism. No, seriously

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This full-color illustrated book, “Help! Mom! The Swamp is in my School” is a hilarious and fun way to teach children the dangers of socialism. You’ll find all of your favorite liberal characters applying their own brand of socialism as the kids attempt a bake sale.

It’s written by Katharine DeBrecht and illustrated by our own Al Goodwyn. Readers can follow brothers Tommy and Lou and other kids from Bradford Plymouth School as they try to earn money for their school supplies.

The book is available to pre-order here.

And the smirk, don’t forget the smirk!

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In a bold move, Robert Mueller expanded his investigative and law enforcement powers to include the authority to read facial expressions and assess fashion statements. 

Seeing the potential end to the current Russian collusion investigation, that so far has netted only post-election process violations having nothing to do with collusion, Mueller expanded his powers to include mental telepathy. Mueller explained that it was the next obvious step in the evolution of his authoritarian powers. “I’ve been given so much free reign in these investigations that sixth sense was the only possible new power to be exploited” said Mueller as he attended his weekly back-rub from CNN executives. He added that “fashion police authority was just a bonus.” 

Combining telepathic knowledge of what a smirk really means with the poor fashion choice of MAGA hats put the unfortunate Convington Catholic High School students square in his cross hairs … and indictment writing pen. 

In response to a reporter who accidentally asked Mueller a hard question about legal aspects of fashion indictments, the Special Counsel lead investigator replied, “And your Social Security number is what?”

The Weekly Standard

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We’re sorry to see the demise of The Weekly Standard.  It’s been a part of our routine reading material for several years.

Weekly Standard lr 12-17-16

ABC News: Is Kavanaugh a Westworld robot?

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ABC News, in their struggle to find something bad to say about the latest Supreme Court nominee, could only come up with “his carefully constructed life.”  The article though goes on to help us understand how that’s bad.

Saying his life has been “carefully constructed.”  Sounds like his whole persona is just one manipulated step after another.   Apparently Kavanaugh is either a well managed and scripted Westworld robot or he’s straight out of the husband version of the Stepford Wives.”

They then delve deep into his character.  Check out these actual quotes from the article:

“He checks all the boxes.”  Sounds cold and calculating.  In fact we recall a story about his grade school days when he used a number 3 pencil instead of the required 2.  After turning himself in, he told the teacher that he’d “do anything to stay on track to be a Supreme Court justice …  anything.”

“… a country where politics have become poisonously tribal, Kavanaugh has tried to cover his bases.”  They came close to saying “cover-up.”  They probably wished they could have slipped “collusion” in there as well.

“Amateur athlete.”  Hrumph, amateur.

“The only skeleton in Kavanaugh’s closet …  he’s American as apple pie.”  Anything associated with America optimism is a damning blow.

“Because Republicans are not releasing critical documents for the Senate hearings that begin Tuesday, it remains to be seen if anything else is rattling around.”  Critical documents?  The 300 judicial opinions aren’t enough to determine what his judicial thoughts, practices and fairness would be … as a judge?  Or the more than half a million pages of Kavanaugh documents that have already been provided.

It repeats Schumer’s statement calling him a “partisan political foot soldier.”   We’re picturing a mercenary with face paint and a bullet stuffed bandoleer draped over his shoulder.

It closes with “Kavanaugh represents Donald Trumps hopes… One question from the senators will be… how far the apple fell from the tree.”   We’re a little disappointed here.  They could have taken the apple analogy much further.

  • Will this be another conservative bad apple on the Supreme Court?
  • What worms will be discovered after it’s too late?
  • He might be American as apple pie, but is that pie rotten to the core?
  • Will this apple today keep liberal policies away?
  • If he’s American as apple pie, isn’t the apple forbidden fruit?

The Democrat Senators are aflutter on how to unnerve and trip up this nominee.  You could say he’s the apple of their eye, since fury has them seeing red.

 

New York Times, CYA outsourcing for the Vatican

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We noted previously how trust in the Catholic Church may beginning to crumble. Thanks to Twitchy for pointing out the New York Times’ effort to shift blame and also for finding other Times’ coverage of the pope (as in CYA coverage) was amped up to 11.

Here’s the first headline where the Times somehow figured out how to throw conservatives under the bus while covering for the Vatican.

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Nothing to see here except those darn Republicans trying to make a mountain out of a mountain.

Then along comes another article just to make sure we weren’t distracted by the blinding light of priests by the hundreds allegedly sexually assaulting boys.

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Wow, just wow!  Hide the women and children because…. conservatives are being critical of pedophilia.

Not to be outdone, Reuters decided they needed to get in to the act of defending the indefensible with this gem of a headline.

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Along these same lines we thought we’d revisit moments in history and the headlines that likely appeared in the NYT’s back then.

Conservatives Block Helium Exports, 
The Hindenburg Forced to use Hydrogen

Construction of Dallas Book Depository 
Funded by Conservative City Council Members

Democrats Burn a Few Crosses
While Republicans Wage War on Segregation

Gun Owners Cause Increased Deaths 
During Undocumented Home Invasions

Democrats Insist on Unlimited Abortion Freedoms
While Republicans' Only Message is "Family Values" 

Conservative Cleaning Lady Forced 
MLK to Wait Outside Hotel Room

Lack of Conservatives Willing to Fight Back
on Three of the Four 9/11 Planes

JonBenet Ramsey at Home During Evening of Abduction
Working on US Constitution Homework

Conservatives Refuse to Ban Knives
Did OJ Buy One?

Asteroid Aiming for Earth
T-Rex Building Wall to Keep Undocumented Raptors out of Cave

Google’s Knowledge Panel and Wikipedia

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Recently a couple of Google search results included links to disquieting anti-conservative content in the search engine’s so-called Knowledge Panel.  The content in these panels relies on Wikipedia for much of that information and may be the source for the anti-conservative bias.  So how does Wikipedia get its content?  If you Google Wikipedia, here’s what that Knowledge Panel says:

Wikipedia is a multilingual, web-based, free-content encyclopedia that is based on a model of openly editable content. It is the largest and most-popular general reference work on the Internet, and is named as one of the most popular websites.

So in short, one of the “most popular websites”, that’s a “model of openly editable content” is relied on by the quasi-monopoly Google to provide us with “knowledge.”  Add in to the mix that Social Justice Warriors dominate social media companies and it’s no wonder conservative bias infiltrates Google searches.

The reason for the specific anti-conservative propaganda mentioned above was that Wikipedia was “vandalized.”  When asked about the incident, Larry Page, Google founder said the vandal was “no doubt a well-intentioned SJW.  Remember, Hillary’s email-server-hidden-in-a-bathroom was well-intentioned so there’s not much to see here either.  Despite that, we’ve exhausted our technology to determine that the offending IP address links back to a seventh-grade typing class at Eric Holder Junior High.   So just relax you over-sensitive bigoted, Nazi-loving Republicans.”

We should mention that we got that quote from Google’s Knowledge Panel.