Satire

Twits and Tweets: Franken confused

Image Posted on Updated on

Franken 1

Advertisements

Words in the news

Posted on Updated on

Who knew?  Much to our surprise it’s considered a racial slur to call someone Pocahontas.  Trump found that out this week after a tweet where he referred to Elizabeth Warren as Pocahontas, although that wasn’t the first time he’s done that.  After back lash from this recent tweet, Trump apologized by saying, “I do regret calling her Pocahontas, because I think it’s a tremendous insult to Pocahontas.”

In related news, we didn’t have a single Pocahontas show up at our door this Halloween.  There was, however, a preschooler who showed up as an old man.  I was deeply offended.

Speaking of words, did you know the Japanese have a word for being worked to death.   It’s Karoshi.   We Americans have the antonym though, couch potato.   Of course being overworked doesn’t require the English language to come up with a word, but there are a number of new words and definitions based on current events we offer up for consideration:

  • pignore – turning a blind eye in Hollywood and journalism to workplace sexual assault and harassment
  • taximonious – expecting the government to pay for things but not realizing where the government gets its money
  • testimony – having someone’s genitals in a vice in order to gain cooperation
  • Demoshat – ability to explosively crap political theater the instant a tragedy occurs
  • Republisham – inability to accomplish anything even though you own both houses of Congress and the presidency
  • twit – a person who relies entirely on Twitter to communicate
  • clinton – the act of cheating to gain an advantage
  • bernt – being cheated
  • kimduldge – fueling North Korea’s nuclear ambitions through failed diplomacy
  • beleech – destroying emails so you can continue to live off the country
  • pootinkering – election meddling
  • irangement – establishing policy that provides the Iranian government a path to nuclear weapons
  • climetastic – using any change in weather as proof that the world will end unless everyone, except celebrities, reduces their carbon footprint

 

Democrat party slogans

Posted on

Dems-Papa Johns

Now that the Democrat party has progressed so far as to paraphrase a pizza franchise slogan as their own, we thought we’d provide a few alternatives for their consideration. 

  • A better deal: better thieves, better liars, better hypocrites
  • Expanding our local successes nationally.  Just look at Chicago, Baltimore and Detroit.
  • A better deal: the New Deal on steroids
  • We’re color blind blinded by color
  • A better deal:  Better Schumer, Better Pelosi, Better Maxine Waters!
  • Make America blue again
  • Better unalienable rights:  Strife, Pity and the Pursuit of Mediocrity
  • Illegal aliens are voters too
  • Honoring the overachievers and their wallets
  • A better deal:  for us
  • We do the thinking so you don’t have to
  • A better deal:  Better MSNBC, Better CNN, Better ABC
  • Science means discovery, unless Al Gore says it’s settled.
  • Preserving Justice Just Us
  • Leave no child left in the womb
  • Impeaching our way to the White House
  • A better deal: ha, ha, ha

Twits and Tweets: Viva la France

Posted on Updated on

See the full story here.

Harlow 1

Headlines and Factlines 6/13/17

Posted on Updated on

Here are a few of today’s actual headlines.  We’ve added the accompanying factlines since many consumers of newsprint don’t get past the bold print on their way to the entertainment section.

Headlines 6-13-17