Politics
NY Times: All the print bias that fits
Like Nevada’s Chicken Ranch (which doesn’t sell chicken, wink wink), the New York Times is displaying flexibility that should be greatly appreciated by its customers. A recent Times front page headline “Trump Urges Unity vs. Racism” after Trump urged unity versus racism, caused the type of outrage we haven’t seen since Toys ‘R Us stopped selling Che Guevara action figures.
The outcry was so dramatic from several of the Democrat presidential candidates as well as members of Congress and others within the liberal elite that the Times was forced to take action and return to instilling opinion even on the front page, even in front page headlines and even in their motto “All the print bias that fits” or something like that.
Damage control was accomplished with a headline change to “Assailing Hate but not Guns”, distribution of Trump voodoo dolls during the annual elephant dismemberment ritual and sacrificing a Times intern. These noble actions, however, were met with some skepticism, but all is, apparently, forgiven. Their front row table at the annual White House Correspondence Dinner remains secure, for now.
Things Congress would rather do than cut the budget
Congress is on recess after completing the difficult job of budget posturing. Like San Francisco’s hope for fighting drug use with government supported drug use, our Congressman and Congresswomen recently developed their treatment plan for deficit spending,… more deficit spending. After all, it’s about safety. The safety of their Congressional seats.
Here’s the big list of things Congress would rather do than reduce the budget.
- Increase the budget
- And anything else
Dossier, what dossier?
Lucky for us, our crack staff of investigative reporters managed to catch Bob Mueller in the halls over at the Dirksen building shortly after his hearing today. There were still some unanswered questions.
me: Bob, got a second?
Bob: Huh? mumble, um, er, mumble. Excuse me while I take the marbles out of my mouth and ears.
me: The Steele dossier wasn’t on the table in today’s hearing Why?
Bob: It was a small table.
me: But the dossier led to the FISA warrants which opened the door to FBI agents who wanted to set Trump’s hair on fire and cut off his tie which led to the collusion conspiracy theories which led to the investigation which led to the reason you’re here today.
Bob: That’s totally incorrect! You have that completely backwards! The FBI agents wanted to set Trump’s tie on fire and cut off his hair.
me: But isn’t it concerning that the FBI was used as a political weapon by one campaign to get an advantage over another?
Bob: When Hillary was crowned as the Democrat’s candidate to go against Trump the only weapon they had available was her charm, good looks and stamina. It was just a case of leveling the playing field.
me: Well thanks. What’s next.
Bob: We’re all off to Nadler’s place. He promised to show us his stomach reduction scar.
Joe goes all in on recycling
We’re not sure it’s necessarily a winning strategy, but there stands good ol’ Joe at the betting window putting everything on the Obama legacy.
It might be a feel-good thing to do. He did spent eight years being Obama’s biggest cheerleader, taking only momentary breaks to nuzzle necks and hair. But recycling anything that remotely sounds like the Obama-ism “if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor” such as “if you like your health care plan you can keep it“ seems like a campaign strategy closer to nuzzling nuclear waste than to winning.
At least he didn’t say “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”
