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Congressional Recess Travel Fund
As we all know Congress takes frequent recesses to allow them to “get in touch with their constituents” and “hike the Appalachian Trail.” Considering their desperate need for some actual rest and relaxation, a GoFundMe has been established for just that purpose. With the news that Jeff Bezos may soon be charging $200,000 per ride to space, now is the time to provide our most prized politicians with an opportunity that will surely recharge their batteries. For the 535 members of Congress, this initial GoFundMe opportunity will seek $53.5M.
That should get them half way through their space journey. We’ll worry about the return trip GoFundMe later.
Thanks to at least a few Supreme Court justices there’s still hope for the Constitution. In a 5-4 ruling they determined that California’s law requiring anti-abortion, faith-based pregnancy centers to advertise for abortion clinics infringed on the pro-life organizations’ 1st Amendment rights. The scary part is that it wasn’t a 9-0 ruling.
We reported on this in March and pointed out a few “fun” equivalencies including a requirement for the Presbyterian Women’s Garden Club to advertise for a strip club. We even came up with the advertisement.
Perhaps one way to encourage the Democrats to begin caring about illegal border crossings is for Trump to declare July 4th as Opioid Open Border Day. We think that’d be a twofer. One, liberals would demand Trump do something about the porous border, and two,… they’d instantly find patriotism.
Liberals appear to determine their freak-out issue of the day by one of two means. Either their outrage is calibrated based on what Trump does and hence they must move 180 degrees in opposition, or, and more frequently, they’ve been caught in a scandal, and require a deflection-issue. Take for example the Horowitz’s Congressional testimony which brought to light at least four FBI personnel involved in the Hillary and Trump investigations with extreme biases for Hillary and against Trump. We’d call that a monumental scandal.
Apparently though, today’s shiny object for the media is Melania’s-raincoat-message scandal. Maybe they got bored showing pictures of children caged during Obama’s administration.
Clear bias on the part of the FBI while investigating Clinton and then Trump is spelled out in the Horowitz report … but the report concludes that no documented evidence of bias could be linked directly to decisions made during the investigation. Is it the legal system or the DC system that struggles with the obvious. No rational person could read the text messages between named and unnamed FBI personnel and think that bias isn’t in play. I guess the emphasis is on the word “documented.” It would have been interesting if the conclusion stated that
Although no documented bias was identified, they certainly loved Hillary and hated Trump and had the power, either subtly or overtly, to swing both investigations in the precise directions they eventually turned. What the $#%& was the FBI thinking?
So Mueller’s process for determining who should have high ranking authority in both investigations certainly must have been interesting.
Mueller: Team, I’ll need to select individuals to head up investigations that will have far reaching impacts on this country. A country, by the way, that many people actually love.
Strzok: Sir, I believe I can provide integrity in any investigation whether it involves Queen Hillary (Strzok bows deeply) or that vile Trump (Strzok appears to come close to vomiting but instead makes a hacking noise like a cat dislodging a hairball).
Mueller: That’s the kind of commitment I like to see. Let me ask you a question though. If Trump was on fire, would you pour gasoline or jet fuel on him?
Strzok: Sir, I believe that’s a trick question. I would have poured gasoline on him before lighting him on fire.
Mueller: Committed and intelligent, I like it! You’re hired. And remember, when you see Hillary, no eye contact. We don’t want to do anything that would appear disrespectful to our next president.