Latest Event Updates
The media’s in a fix. Good ol’ Uncle Joe, the 2020 savior of the Democrat party, has finally had his handiness catch up with him. Way way back before there ever was a #metoo movement, Joe was just a friendly close talking, hair sniffing, Joe-will-be-Joe kind of guy. That day was what, last Tuesday? Now just keep your hands in your pockets and only smell the hair growing uncontrollably out of your own nose.
Joe’s new problems wouldn’t exist if Al Franken hadn’t pretended to get handsy while goofing for the camera. Now the media are confused as to which side their on. Do they criticize Joe and contradict the elevated status Joe’s received from the Democrats up to this point or ignore the behavior ’cause that’s just Joe. If there wasn’t that ghost of Al Franken hovering over DC, the media would be drooling over Uncle Joe and his touching affection he shows for women and little girls. And we do mean touching.
Speaking of Franken. See this post from the era of Franken’s demise, as a reminder.
Congrats again to the four winners from our previous contest! They will receive their very own mug, to be shipped this weekend. Each mug is made from durable ceramic, beautifully designed and well balanced with an easy-to-grip handle so Hillary can hurl it across the room.
We’d love to give more away. How about a contest contest?
For the two best new contests you think we should run, we’ll award coffee mugs.
To get you thinking, here are some past posts that could have been turned into contest opportunities. Links are included.
- Buried surprises in Obamacare.
- Moments in history that can be blamed on conservatives.
- Opportunities to make competing industries advertise for each other.
- Courses that politicians took, that the rest of us missed.
- When breaking southern protocols deserves fines.
- New words and definitions appropriate based on current events.
- Ways to further ruin the NFL viewing experience.
Come up with your own idea for a contest that pokes at politicians, the media, celebrities or whatever’s making the news. Feel free to email us directly from the Contacts page with entries or questions. We’ll close this in one week, on Friday, 3/8.
In an era of name calling elevated to heights not seen since the New York Times called Robert E. Lee a flapdoodle foozler, one name we didn’t expect to hear in 2019 was “baby killer” yet there you are Democrats.
You’ve got to imagine they woke up the day after blocking a bill to protect a born person – otherwise known as, well, a person – thinking “#$%@, I just had the weirdest dream that I threw away my moral compass, stomped on the constitution and pandered to the fartherest of the farthest left we could go.” Otherwise known as a Tuesday.
We’ve finally gotten around to tallying up the award nomination categories and nominees that best sum up 2018.
You may recall that we came up with a few of our own early in December when we kicked off this event. Check back at the original post for the complete list. In the mean time, here were just a few:
- The Disappearing Statesman Award – Paul Ryan
- The Confused About The Meaning of the Word Journalist Award – Jim Acosta
- The Most Likely to get Lost on the DC Subway Award – Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
- A Lifetime Achievement Award (Sleazy Politics category) – Bill Clinton
Without further delay, the winning nomination categories and nominees for 2018….
The Making Public Service Work for your Financial Reward Award – Diane Feinstein [submitted by Norris Johnson]
The Best Cup of Coughy Award – Hillary Clinton [submitted by Michael Bradford]
The Most Classified Information Released without an Indictment – Hillary Clinton [submitted by Russell Abbott]
The Just Can’t Let it go Award (aka Bad Loser Award) – Hillary Clinton [submitted by Todd Coleman]
Unfortunately, Hillary couldn’t make it this evening due to a nasty tumble over an empty box of wine.
Those listed above who identified the award categories and selected winning nominees have, themselves, won some fabulous swag in the form of a limited edition Confederacy of Drones coffee mug! Stay tuned for future opportunities to win more stuff from your friends at COD.
Image Posted on Updated on
In a bold move, Robert Mueller expanded his investigative and law enforcement powers to include the authority to read facial expressions and assess fashion statements.
Seeing the potential end to the current Russian collusion investigation, that so far has netted only post-election process violations having nothing to do with collusion, Mueller expanded his powers to include mental telepathy. Mueller explained that it was the next obvious step in the evolution of his authoritarian powers. “I’ve been given so much free reign in these investigations that sixth sense was the only possible new power to be exploited” said Mueller as he attended his weekly back-rub from CNN executives. He added that “fashion police authority was just a bonus.”
Combining telepathic knowledge of what a smirk really means with the poor fashion choice of MAGA hats put the unfortunate Convington Catholic High School students square in his cross hairs … and indictment writing pen.
In response to a reporter who accidentally asked Mueller a hard question about legal aspects of fashion indictments, the Special Counsel lead investigator replied, “And your Social Security number is what?”