In a twist few saw coming, Donald Trump borrowed a page from Obama’s big binder of leading-from-behind strategies when the current President announced that the US was withdrawing from Syria.
When it was pointed out that it was Obama’s policy of ensuring at least one leadership vacuum at a time in the Middle-East, Trump counter-pointed that “Putin’s still there.”
But what about ISIS? They grew to fill the vacuum Obama left?
“Well ISIS is the main reason to leave”, Trump exclaimed. “I’ll get a really terrific bump when I defeat ’em again. It’ll be huge. Really terrific. A great bump.”
A recent revelation involving the entire music industry places most musicians and music producers in jeopardy of being banned from all radio, TV and live performances. Confederacy of Drones, a snarky, unknown and frankly pitiful excuse for a website, uncovered grainy footage of a musical performance that could only be described as an astounding display of insensitive hate speech set to music.
These celebrities brazenly attempted to sing about a Christian event that falls unabashedly during the Happy Holiday Season.
Hidden away in an underground bunker, similar to Hitler, celebrities excitedly orchestrate an eerie sound of bells, bongos and a well rehearsed melody. We only discover upon careful listening that the song is about Christmas, God and praying. If you have the stomach and dare to listen carefully to the lyrics you’ll hear things like:
“But say a prayer, pray for the other ones”
“Well tonight thank God”
“Do they know it’s Christmastime at all?”
The dog whistles in this tune are more like trumpets drowning out the reason for the season: being away from work, fighting shoppers, getting even fatter and decorating the holiday tree.
Upon being confronted with his disregard for common decency, Boy George explained, “As a kid, I didn’t understand the power of certain words and how they can hurt.”
Kevin Spacey joined the world of the woke when he said, “At least I didn’t do that!”
We’re sorry to see the demise of The Weekly Standard. It’s been a part of our routine reading material for several years.
Nominations are due for the 2018 awards to honor those throughout the year who distinguished themselves in a manner deserving of outward ridicule. The list of our nominees is extensive but not complete.
We’re looking for additional nominees in the categories listed, but would love to learn of other categories that highlight the uniqueness that was 2018. All participants will win some form of Confederacy of Drones swag delivered to their mailbox in discrete packaging. The quality of the swag will be dependent on the quality of the input. It will range from a small rock with Confederacy of Drones hand lettered to something even nicer.
Submit your nominations and suggested award categories to email@example.com.
Without further delay, here are the 2018 award categories and our (incomplete) list of nominees.
- The Disappearing Statesman Award – Paul Ryan
- The I’m Not Too Old for Politics Award – Nancy Pelosi
- The Tact Award – Donald Trump
- The My God This World Seems Upside Down Award – Antifa Movement
- The Comeback of the Year Award – Mitt Romney
- A Lifetime Achievement Award (Sleazy Politics category) – Bill Clinton
- The Confused About The Meaning of the Word Journalist Award – Jim Acosta
- The Remember When Religious Figures were Concerned With Religious Matters – Pope Francis
- The All Republicans Really are Racists Award – Michael Moore
- The Most Likely to get Lost on the DC Subway Award – Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
- The You Could Ruin A Wet Dream Award – Roseann Barr
- The Nero Fiddling Award – Jerry Brown
Two quotes from Kanye West:
- N#@$&! is monsters / N#@$&! i is pimps / n#@$&! is players / Til n#@$&! have daughters / N#@$&! is pimps / n#@$&! is players /‘Til n#@$&! have daughters
- I think it’s bravery that helps you beat this game called life. You know they tried to scare me to not wear this hat. My own friends. But this hat gives me a different power in a way. You know my dad and my mom separated, so I didn’t have a lot of male energy in my home. And also I’m married to a family that, you know, not a lot of male energy going on.
For one of these, he’s considered a poet. For the other, a crazy person who can’t read. Guess which goes with which.
Hollywood has removed the iconic image of the American flag being planted on the moon in the upcoming movie First Man. At some point, you’d think it’d be more about entertainment than political messaging. For many, instead of seeing the movie they’ll be taking a knee.
So for those in the make-believe movie producing business who want to send a message along with playing dress-up, we have a few other iconic scenes you can consider omitting when you get around to portraying certain events on the big screen.