Obama
Before you play, know the rules
In politics, as in sports, it’s important to know the rules if you want to be successful. The angst felt by Hillary fans is currently sky high as they watch Donald Trump prepare to take the oath of office. What makes this doubly painful for them is that their candidate “won” … well, even though she didn’t. Perhaps if Hillary knew how the Electoral College worked she would have stepped at least one foot in Wisconsin.
Here are a few other surprise moments in politics, sports and life that may have caused the uninitiated to question how things could have turned so poorly despite their best efforts.
- Basketball – losing even though you made more baskets but forgot that free throws count only one point
- TV ratings – ending up at the bottom even though your programming is geared toward left handed transgenders under the age of 25
- Blocking traffic – getting run over even though you felt empowered
- Cyber Security – getting hacked by Russian spies even though you gave them a reset button
- Cyber Security II – giving your password to Russian spies even if your name is John Podesta and you were entrusted with managing a presidential campaign
- Presidency – having your scandals pointed out even though you declared your presidency scandal-free
- Chess – losing even though you have more pieces
- Overseas Contingency Operations – being labeled a war monger even though you proudly wear your Nobel Peace Prize medallion
Final acts by Obama to secure his legacy
Obama’s been quite busy during the last few weeks of his presidency in an attempt to have a legacy when he leaves office. In that spirit, we thought we’d predict a few possible last minute actions this administration might take.
- Declare Stephen Hawking the JV team of theoretical physics.
- Pardon the rap music industry – past, present, and future – for the misogynist, racist, anti-zionist rage they spew.
- Pardon Hillary for all past criminal activity and up to seven future murders.
- In response to Israel now ignoring the earlier UN resolution, convince the UN to pass the much stricter “I Know You Are But What Am I” resolution immediately followed by the “Finger Wag of Disapproval” declaration.
- Burn the Lincoln Room furnishings before the Mongol hord invades.
- Declare 1/20/17 as national “Lost Hope” Day.
- Make Facebook the official news agency of the US and establish MSNBC as sanctioned fact checker.
- Replace US History textbooks in middle and high school with binders of meme’s.
- Declare Jimmy Spencer’s backyard sandbox in Wheaton, Kansas, as protected land complete with digging restrictions.
- Fire FBI Director James Comey and replace him with Hillary Clinton.
- Require unemployment figures to slowly transition over the next four years to include those people who have given up on employment.
- Give Hillary the Resolute Desk to prevent Trump from propping his feet up on it. Besides, anyone who would want the presidency so bad that they’d lie, cheat, and corrupt so many is the definition of “resolute.”
- Issue an Executive Order requiring Christians to stitch a cross onto their clothing so that liberals know who should get a Merry Christmas greeting.
- Establish safe spaces for entertainers who’re traumatized by the possibility of performing for conservatives. Bouncers will be checking for crosses stitched on clothing.
- Replace all of the Czars in the White House with the guy who made the Russian “reset” button.
- Set up an oversight group led by the Congressional Black Caucus to approve all future Beer Summits.
- Eliminate “No Child Left Behind” and re-purpose the slogan for Planned Parenthood.
- Issue an Executive Order to require any new fences built in the US to be no higher than 10 feet.
- Immediately commission an aid package to Mexico that includes 12 million 11-foot ladders.
- Rename HUD headquarters The Fidel Castro Memorial Center.
- With the success of casual Fridays, institute “Narcissist Mondays” – but only Obama is allowed to participate. “It goes so well with our ‘Narcissist Tuesdays through Sundays’ program” said the President.
- Follow that with “No-Criticism-of-Former-Presidents-with-the-Initials-BO Tuesdays.”
- Require all bakeries to maintain Bride of Satan cakes. Inventory of virgin organs not required.
Who’s responsible for the rise of Trump?
Donald Trump is storming through the Republican primary to the surprise of just about everyone. It seems as though the worse the behavior, the bigger the following. We discussed this in an earlier post so we won’t replay that here.
But who’s to blame for Trump’s rise?
If you look at recent editorial cartoons, Frankenstein’s monster is the latest metaphor used to explain it. Just check out the examples below. The Republican establishment and Fox News appear to be popular. But we think there’s a simpler explanation.
The best explanation is to look no further than Obama. A huge segment of the population isn’t pleased with the direction this country has been taken. It’s not just the policies, it’s Obama’s childlike qualities, and we don’t mean an honest, doe-eyed innocence. We’re speaking of his callow actions as he attempts to build a legacy. A legacy that has more in common with a petulant toddler than the leader of the free world. Check out this ever expanding list:
Voter’s want something the opposite of what we currently have. Unfortunately with the pendulum having swung so far in one direction, the kinetic energy during it’s reverse course will swing us too far along an about-faced bearing. Trump is the anti-Obama, but not in a good way.
The Medium is the Message
In his 1964 book “Understanding Media: Extension of Man” Marshall McLuhan coined the term The Medium is the Message. There’s no more obvious example of this than Donald Trump’s historic rise through his careful, crass, and damn-the-torpedoes-full-steam-ahead approach to getting his coiffed hair in front of every media outlet possible.
Print, radio and television – especially television – have put Trump in his most natural environment. The actual spoken message matters little. What matters is the image, and more precisely, his image, in as many places, in as many forms and as often as possible. The more rude, boorish and lowbrow the actual message, the more the media will hover to catch every insult; the more bleeps required the better.
We’re going from a President who curtsies to every foreign leader he meets, friend or foe, to the possibility of a President Trump, who’s sure to start delicate foreign relations discussions with “pull my finger.”
A military that’s brought to its knees
The detention of US military personnel and the pictures of our own fighting force on their knees in front of Iranian captors is an image that sums up the Obama legacy quite well.
…a country, once strong and proud, now forced to its knees.
These sailors ended up in Iranian territorial waters leading to confrontation, capture and subsequent release. It certainly could have gone worse, and for that we’re thankful, but the circumstance plus the images paint a picture for the world to see of a country, once strong and proud, now forced to its knees. A Navy that could once boast of having 6,768 ships, down to 272. A history of US Presidents portraying strength as Commanders in Chief, now a President that grovels to dictators, monarchs, and emperors. A US President who’s arrogant to his own citizens while at the same time capitulating to oppressive rulers.
A country that once had the respect around the globe, now being dictated to by an Iranian government.
The Government saving us from ourselves.
Whenever we hear things like “you can’t be too careful” or from Obama when he tweeted “if there’s one life we can save-we’ve got an obligation to try”, our immediate reaction is to consider those to be noble sentiments. That was his logic – or fear mongering – that he’s been using to convince us the time is always right for more gun control directives. So he literally means if he can take an action to save one life, he will. He’s also shown that it doesn’t matter if it over steps his authority to do so. Although he’s not likely to admit he’s exceeding his limited authority to encroach upon our rights, to him it’s more of a duty.
“if there’s one life we can save-we’ve got an obligation to try” – Barack Obama
Now let’s think about actions that could be taken to save lives. Each day we take personal risks at home, on the road, at work and in our leisure activities. You almost can’t avoid the opportunity for death particularly if you bring your level of concern down to the one in 300 million possibility. That’s Obama’s target, one life saved out of a population of 300 million. Imagine the activities that present a hazard with that slim probability. We’re guessing that using a toothbrush incorrectly probably has that level of risk, let alone all the other voluntary risks we take everyday including driving a car, walking or running for exercise, not walking or running for exercise, stepping into a bathtub, and even the act of eating is hazardous. Perhaps the government should require personal food chewers so we don’t risk choking. After all, almost 3000 people die each year from airway obstruction while eating. And don’t get us started on the dangers of popcorn! Food chewers would simultaneously help save us from ourselves and get people back to work. Not to mention our resulting loss of appetite and an immediate cure for obesity. And if we refuse that government assistance, then we can just be fined, um…, taxed.
Now consider that the recent rash of Obama actions on gun control would have had no impact on the mass shootings we’ve recently experienced, and that was a primary motivating factor in this latest wave of directives. In spite of that, he’s managed to fire up the fear and sell his snake oil for whatever ails you as long as he gets added control on your Second Amendment rights. All in the name of protecting us from ourselves. Personally we’d rather see a cure for a bloated government. Hands off our guns….and popcorn.
Better decision making through coin flips
This President has a unique track record. He says ISIS isn’t a threat, then on that very day they attack Paris. Next he mocks Republicans by saying they’re afraid of women and orphans, then a deadly terrorist attack in California involving a woman.
We really shouldn’t think of orphans as a problem, but now we’re not so sure.
What if one-sixth of the population was discarded?
Here’s a sobering thought. Take one-sixth of the population and simply discard them. Horrifying, isn’t it? We’re doing that to those who have the potential to be part of the next generation. Here are some scary facts:
• For every 1000 live births in the United States, 210 abortions occur.
• One million souls each year perish due to abortion as a way to end an unwanted pregnancy.
• Half of all pregnancies in this country are unwanted.
Obama was certainly not talking about the ghastly rate of abortions when he said “Enough is Enough.” We only wish he was a fraction as concerned over the loss of life as shown by these statistics as he was over the abortion clinic shooting and subsequent tragic loss of life. Certainly we don’t condone violence as a way of protesting abortion. The monster who shot up the clinic must pay for his hideous crimes. We do, however, want to ensure that the cost, gravity and frequency of abortions are more thoroughly understood. Then maybe others will also think, “enough is enough.”
Confederacy of Drones 