Society
Before you play, know the rules
In politics, as in sports, it’s important to know the rules if you want to be successful. The angst felt by Hillary fans is currently sky high as they watch Donald Trump prepare to take the oath of office. What makes this doubly painful for them is that their candidate “won” … well, even though she didn’t. Perhaps if Hillary knew how the Electoral College worked she would have stepped at least one foot in Wisconsin.
Here are a few other surprise moments in politics, sports and life that may have caused the uninitiated to question how things could have turned so poorly despite their best efforts.
- Basketball – losing even though you made more baskets but forgot that free throws count only one point
- TV ratings – ending up at the bottom even though your programming is geared toward left handed transgenders under the age of 25
- Blocking traffic – getting run over even though you felt empowered
- Cyber Security – getting hacked by Russian spies even though you gave them a reset button
- Cyber Security II – giving your password to Russian spies even if your name is John Podesta and you were entrusted with managing a presidential campaign
- Presidency – having your scandals pointed out even though you declared your presidency scandal-free
- Chess – losing even though you have more pieces
- Overseas Contingency Operations – being labeled a war monger even though you proudly wear your Nobel Peace Prize medallion
Your Turn: Drone’s Groans
A famous poet once said, “Step right up and win some crap.” We may be paraphrasing… or maybe it wasn’t a poet. Anyway, give us your thoughts and we’ll send you some crap.
Posted below are our tongue-in-cheek new year’s resolution suggestions for a few well known personalities. We’re now wondering who we missed and what their resolutions are are or should be. We’d love to hear your suggestions. Consider politicians, entertainers, eating contest champions, or those few who, justly or not, received their 15 minutes of fame in 2016. Everyone who submits gets a chicken scratching otherwise known as an original sketch, mailed directly to you. That’s right, art, guaranteed to be worth $0.47 … if the postage stamp wasn’t cancelled.
We left a lot of people off our list who are in dire need of some timely resolutions: James Comey, Anthony Weiner, Matt Stonie (moon pie eating champion), Beyonce, Brad Pitt or anyone in the Trump brood.
You can provide your thoughts directly in the comments section of the blog. Or just email your suggested resolutions to us at confederacyofdrones@gmail.com.
Remember, humor counts – assuming anyone has a sense of humor left. We’ll collect suggestions until New Year’s Eve and then compile the best of the bunch.
Liberals reap the low standards they sow
Shortly before the election, we thought Trump’s crotch grabbing talk would doom him in the Presidential election. Immediately following the revelation that he talked nasty 11 years ago we provided you with our take on how this might impact his chances to woo the nation. Come on, our country has standards, right?
Well apparently liberal entertainers have taken our standards to a low enough level to help us cope with crass conversation. There’s been enough crotch grabbing in concerts, on red carpets and on television to desensitize us to that type of bad behavior. Looks like merely talking about crotch grabbing over a decade ago wasn’t enough to overcome the Democrats’ pitiful excuse for a candidate.
Confederacy of Drones 