Democrat
Good ol’ bad ol’ Joe
The media’s in a fix. Good ol’ Uncle Joe, the 2020 savior of the Democrat party, has finally had his handiness catch up with him. Way way back before there ever was a #metoo movement, Joe was just a friendly close talking, hair sniffing, Joe-will-be-Joe kind of guy. That day was what, last Tuesday? Now just keep your hands in your pockets and only smell the hair growing uncontrollably out of your own nose.
Joe’s new problems wouldn’t exist if Al Franken hadn’t pretended to get handsy while goofing for the camera. Now the media are confused as to which side their on. Do they criticize Joe and contradict the elevated status Joe’s received from the Democrats up to this point or ignore the behavior ’cause that’s just Joe. If there wasn’t that ghost of Al Franken hovering over DC, the media would be drooling over Uncle Joe and his touching affection he shows for women and little girls. And we do mean touching.
Speaking of Franken. See this post from the era of Franken’s demise, as a reminder.
Cold hands, warm blood, cold heart
In an era of name calling elevated to heights not seen since the New York Times called Robert E. Lee a flapdoodle foozler, one name we didn’t expect to hear in 2019 was “baby killer” yet there you are Democrats.
You’ve got to imagine they woke up the day after blocking a bill to protect a born person – otherwise known as, well, a person – thinking “#$%@, I just had the weirdest dream that I threw away my moral compass, stomped on the constitution and pandered to the fartherest of the farthest left we could go.” Otherwise known as a Tuesday.
Festivus celebrated 24/7
Democrats seem to be on a perpetual celebration of Festivus and it’s airing of grievances. The country’s been winning lately but those on the left see only defeat. Kavanaugh, Gorsuch, unemployment, a receding ISIS, North Korea, NAFTA, tax cuts, military, Iran deal, and for the first time in 10 years, your chances of being be-headed has been reduced.
But of course there’s also the bad, such as tweet storms, lying, and Omarosa. At least the media aren’t complicit in the lying. Emboldened journalists everywhere are more than eager to set Trump straight on his most flimsiest lies. “The greatest economy ever?! Ha! What about Dover, Delaware in 1877!? Now that was a great economy!”
It becomes quickly apparent that anything good for the country sets their version of grieving in motion. We bring you the Democrats’ stages of grief. And by “grief” we don’t mean things worthy of grief. We’re talking about circumstances that most everyone else would consider good news. But good news for the country means bad news for the Democrats. We’ll throw in the Presidential Emergency Alert only because many liberals balled themselves up into the fetal position because of the scary noise.
- Shock (that they’d have to tolerate something that doesn’t fit their Utopia)
- Disbelief (that by being shocked the circumstance wasn’t immediately reversed)
- Melt Down (over having to demonstrate independence)
- Tantrum (when their every need isn’t being met by the government)
- Anger (to ensure everyone knows of the outrage)
- Evolution (of lies to counter sane people pointing out their flawed sensibilities)
- Mob (mentality because nothing gets people on your side like destruction)
- Shock (that destruction turned people against you)
- Disbelief (that their stages of grief haven’t worked)
- Melt Down (that they have to think for themselves)
- etc, etc, etc.
We should mention that at any one of these stages, liberals may be forced to make funny hats and silly costumes.
Confederacy of Drones 