Latest Event Updates
The world wonders, not about how terrorism is threatening almost every country across the globe, not about the high level of poverty right here in our own country, not about the record number of people on food stamps, or the stagnant economy. The world wonders how Michelle is coping.
Layla Al-Ani a widow living in Muatassam, Iraq, where women are treated as property and sharia law rules the day, recently spoke out, with approval from her uncle, about her incarceration and torture.
“I know that as bad as things are, Michelle is really the one suffering”, said Layla. “Her strength in overcoming this thing they call micro-aggression is inspiring. It will provide me much needed encouragement to know that while receiving my 100 lashes for being raped, my petty troubles are nothing compared to Michelle’s life in a house that slaves helped to build.”
The struggle for independence is an iconic theme that permeates the fabric of the United States of America. That struggle continues with little appreciation given to the greatest struggles known, those endured by the current first lady. We never fully appreciated how difficult it is to be Michelle. Having to keep up the brave face as she’s forced to travel to exotic locations and eat in the finest restaurants. And the clothing she’s made to wear, don’t get us started on that barbaric expectation. It’s particularly telling when she’s overheard saying
” #@%& Barry, maybe I don’t want to spend another $10 million on vacations this year. Can’t I just spend that on my own island like everyone else?”
No wonder Michelle comes across as entitled, like the country owes her more than she’s given to it. Let’s all begin to appreciate her oppression and persecution. Perhaps one day we’ll understand what we owe Michelle and she can at last be proud of this country.
A few tongue-in-cheek Hillary lies that were recently uncovered.
“Actually, I was named after Hillary Duff.”
“Let me be clear, my vote on the 2002 Iraq Was was to not disallow the non-peaceful contrary efforts at un-destablizing pro-antimilitary action.”
Anytime she begins with “Let me be clear…”
“Truth be told, I was actually taking fire from an angry mob slinging baba ghanoush.”
Anytime she begins with “Truth be told…”
“I’m so pro-woman that I’m wearing a fat suit just to help me relate to body-conscious ladies.”
“Really, what happened was I thought ‘server’ meant personal butler.”
“I have a deep connection with the average working people of this great nation who are dead broke like me.”
“We will mercilessly defeat the energetic non-denominational radical extremists through a heightened plea for inter-faith calm and reconciliation.”
“Ha ha ha ha cackle snort snort cackle”
“If I like my email server, I can keep my email server.”
“We came, we saw, Gaddafi died. What’s the worst that can happen?
“I actually preferred a watch-your-step-or-I-might-unload-a-can-of-overseas-contingency-on-your-ass button instead of a reset button.”
“I really miss Vince Foster.”
From all of us here at Confederacy of Drones, have a great Memorial Day and remember why we take time this time out of our busy schedules.
Following endless searches by the best IT professionals that the Confederacy of Drones could find, the lost trove of emails, thought long ago wiped by Hillary Clinton, have emerged. The exclusive content is right here. Enjoy
RE: IT Services Request
Again, we have no interest in giving referrals for IT folks!
Don’t contact again.
Got your request for embassy security upgrades. Thinking white drapes with a few nice splashes of pink. It’s a very calming color.
At this point, what difference does it make?
It’s was a PANTSUIT!
If you thought Barry was going to flexible with Vlad, you haven’t seen anything yet. Hang in there with me until after the election and I’ll show you Cirque du Soleil meets the Mustang Ranch flexible.
Luv to all my WS buds.
RE: Clinton Foundation Receipts
My dearest Sultan,
Thanks for the donation of $3,000,000 for the Clinton Foundation. I was a little surprised that there was postage due though. Please remit an additional 0.27 cents in the form of check or money order. Political favors don’t grow on trees, you know.
With deepest bow,
RE: Nigerian Request for Urgent Business Relationship
Dear Prince Bajuel:
You’re email was an unexpected surprise. Yes, I would very much be interested in handling Nigerian money that you are having difficulty moving from your country, for a fee as you suggested. And yes, I have ways of keeping this confidential.
Please send information as soon as possible.
My Dearest EBrats,
Give me a little room then afterwards we can hit the reset. Safe spaces and microagression enforcement will BE the Hillary presidency.
Here to coddle,
Like Slim Pickens in “Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb” the Republicans might as well hold on, enjoy the ride and act excited about what their doing.