Hillary Clinton
Pandering, er, I mean tours.
Now that the presumptive presidential nominee for the Democrats knows who’s she’ll be running against, she’s going “touring” again. First “listening” and now “breaking down barriers.” We thought we’d offer up a few tours that will likely be high on Hillary’s list of tour topics.
Kill Coal Industry Tour (unless I’m in West Virginia then Go Mountaineers Tour)
Make America Average Again Tour
My God, Can’t We Keep the Bimbos From Bill Tour
Bernie is Such a Pussy Tour
Watch Me Finish Bernie Off Like Roman Gladiator Against a Peasant Tour
Never Poor Again Tour
Hurry To The White House Before the Ghosts of Politics Past Come Back to Haunt Me Tour
Where’s MY “Tingle-up-the-leg” Moment? Tour
Can’t Blame You Bill, I’d Do Her Too Tour
The Frank Underwood’s An Amatuer Tour
Inappropriate Cackling Tour
Pantsuit on Fire Tour
Opaque Transparency Tour
Transparent Opaque Tour
Dammit Just Coronate Me Already Tour
Never mind, she’s already rolling along on all of these tours at once. Let’s just call it the Tour Tour.
Hillary’s a woman; who knew?
Hillary’s message is starting to get sharpened. She’s just about given up trying to be different that Bernie. Who can compete against free stuff unless it’s just to equal his extensive list. But now the difference between the two Democrat candidates is beginning to come into focus. The divergence in these two candidates is in their genders. Guess what? Hillary’s a woman. No argument there and we’re all very glad that’s been settled. But her biggest difficulty seems to be admitting that it’s her main vote-getting strategy. She goes around saying that you shouldn’t vote for her because she’s a woman but then seems to be quick to remind everyone that, yes indeed, Hillary Clinton is a woman.
“Don’t you someday want to see a woman president of the United States of America?”
“I think being the first woman president would be quite a change from the presidents we’ve had.”
“44 boys is too many.”
“Folks want an outsider in this election. Who can be more of an outsider than a woman president?”
And of course there was the Madeleine Albright now famous quote, “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” So it’s not only our duty to vote for Hillary but any women who doesn’t fall in line is also risking eternal damnation.
Here’s a thought though that can put this whole let’s-finally-have-a-woman-president campaign strategy to rest. If Bill Clinton was the first black president, didn’t we already get our first woman president when we elected Barack Obama?
The haunting of Hillary
Hillary’s quick to point out the amount of experience she brings to this campaign. To go along with that self-identified worldliness there’s an expectation that all she has to do is have her name on primary ballots and it’s a mere formality to get from there to her coronation. That experience left a legacy of trampled bodies and issues on her way to her crowning.
Trustworthiness: Bernie Sanders 91%, Hillary Clinton 5%
The good news is that the voters are starting to catch on. During the New Hampshire polling it was identified that Hillary’s trustworthiness was shockingly low compared to Bernie Sanders. From the NY Times, voters who care about honesty in a candidate said that Bernie carries the trust factor by a whopping 91% compared to Hillary’s 5%. 5%!? We’d be willing to go out on a limb and say that at least 5% of people think the moon’s made of green cheese and Elvis is there right now, living out his retirement years.
Some might call Hillary’s current troubles another example of chickens coming home to roost, but that only brings back unpleasant memories of Reverend Wright disparaging America. Instead, let’s just say that New Hampshire was Hillary’s fright night filled with ghosts of transgressions-past.
So Hillary and Bill, with your campaign faltering due to ghosts from your power hungry ambitions …. who you gonna call?
The trouble with Hillary
In 1992 Bill Clinton had the charisma thing but he also had the message thing. His message was “It’s the economy stupid.” Hillary isn’t Bill, and it may be partly due to the Bernie thing. Bernie Sanders, promising everything to everyone, well, at least as much as 18 trillion in new spending according to The Wall Street Journal, started making poor Hillary look down right conservative. How can Hillary compete? So instead of a focus, she’s spinning wildly, like a grandmother with her finger locked down on the trigger of an automatic weapon, spraying bullets in every direction, unable to relax her grip. Her focus so far includes climate change, LGBT rights, gun control, free college, minimum wage, family leave, path to citizenship, and even UFO’s. Taken one at a time, they’re phenomenal liberal causes. Taken as a collective list of goals, it’s just plain socialism.
If Hillary does manage to hone in on one target to focus her campaign, the going may still be tough. There’s still the charisma thing.
Hypocrisy at its finest.
How do you spell hypocrisy? With a “C” as in Clinton or a “D” as in Democrat?
