Confederacy of Drones

Pandering, er, I mean tours.

Posted on May 9, 2016 Updated on May 8, 2016

Now that the presumptive presidential nominee for the Democrats knows who’s she’ll be running against, she’s going “touring” again.  First “listening” and now “breaking down barriers.”  We thought we’d offer up a few tours that will likely be high on Hillary’s list of tour topics.

1. Kill Coal Industry Tour (unless I’m in West Virginia then Go Mountaineers Tour)

2. Make America Average Again Tour

3. My God, Can’t We Keep the Bimbos From Bill Tour

4. Bernie is Such a Pussy Tour

5. Watch Me Finish Bernie Off Like Roman Gladiator Against a Peasant Tour

6. Never Poor Again Tour

7. Hurry To The White House Before the Ghosts of Politics Past Come Back to Haunt Me Tour

8. Where’s MY “Tingle-up-the-leg” Moment? Tour

9. Can’t Blame You Bill, I’d Do Her Too Tour

10. The Frank Underwood’s An Amatuer Tour

11. Inappropriate Cackling Tour

12. Pantsuit on Fire Tour

13. Opaque Transparency Tour

14. Transparent Opaque Tour

15. Dammit Just Coronate Me Already Tour

Never mind, she’s already rolling along on all of these tours at once.  Let’s just call it the Tour Tour.