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Hillary to remain silent

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In light of her recent difficulties with factual statements, Hillary Clinton has offered up a unique debate format that’s sure to please her Democrat supporters. The Clinton camp has suggested that Hillary remain silent during the first Presidential debate between her and Donald Trump.

Appearing on this past Sun-day’s Face The Nation, a lower level operative in the Clinton campaign confirmed that the Democrat Presidential nominee has opted for the silent treatment. This was quickly applauded by the media. George Stephanopoulos noted that the approach allows for more hon-est-appearing news coverage. At a recent Clinton’s Righteously Inspired Media Elation (CRIME) rally the “Fourth Estate” unanimously applauded the bold move, with many noting that it was much easier to interpret an eye roll rather than an ambiguous statement like “I didn’t have classified material on my home server.”

“We’re much better at interpreting the vast intricacies of body language than we are at interpreting what’s meant through verbal communications”, stated Stephanopoulos following his shift as CRIME turd polisher.

This would appear to be a win-win strategy given the propensity of her opponent for being his own worst enemy. Inspired by the news, Trump immediately held a press conference and stated, “Bulieve me, it’’ll be great, it’ll be fantastic and I know about being fantastic. By the way, you’re welcome. It’s not everyone that can get Crooked Hillary to shut up.”

Confederacy of Drones received an exclusive preview of the debate format guidelines. Although Clinton will not actually speak, this table provides guidance on noises and body language allowed.

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