Society
Enhancing the NFL experience?
Since the NFL doesn’t seem to mind players expressing their political opinions while they have a captive, paying audience, we were wondering what else the NFL might do to negatively impact the fans’ experience. Here are a few thoughts.
- AARP-sponsored cheerleaders
- playing field vibrates and scores are determined when someone randomly skitters across the goal line with the ball. All done to to ACDC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long”
- quinoa replaces meat products sold at concession stands
- games are canceled when actual snowflakes fall on the field
- each fan family is required to take home a multimillionaire player to continue the lectures re how unfair it is to live in the USA
- the 2-minute warning is replaced with the 2-minute nation admonishment
- lousy domestic swill beer is sold at $8 per warm plastic cup (oh sorry, already got that one)
- pre-chewed pretzels
- rubbery chicken tenders will actually be made of rubber
- three drink minimum
- the “Hail Mary” will be replaced with the “Allah Akbar”
- “Wear Your Own Uniform” day. All black along with masks encouraged
- ISIS sponsored give-a-ways include headless bobbleheads
- Festivus will be recognized as an official NFL holiday. Player introductions will include the airing of a grievance.
- concession stands all closed during political protests
- concession food containers will be limited to environmentally friendly banana leaves
- ESPN announcers to fist fight Jerry Jones during half time to Madonnas’ “Material Girl” (Note: Jerry wins)
Here’s to sacrifices for freedom of speech
We’re all for freedom of speech and believe that if you’re passionate enough and are willing to sacrifice for your cause, more power to you! That includes football players. If you feel you must take a knee, then plant it right there on the sidelines; in fact, go out on the 50 yard line, be proud, be bold and make everyone understand how serious you take the issue. But be willing to accept the sacrifice heaped upon you, whether it’s criticism from the fans or punishment by the people who sign your very large checks.
Many of us enjoy sports because it’s civilized, entertaining, and a distraction from all of the craziness in the world. So when you bring your passion for anything other than football onto a football field, the NFL brand is effected. The protest won’t increase ratings and only serves to dampen the enthusiasm for the sport. If we were NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell for a day and you’re a player being paid a hefty seven or eight-figure salary, that’d be the end of the protest. It doesn’t mean we don’t respect your opinion, but it does mean that we don’t tolerate anything that comes between the brand and the customer. Take your protest to the street but not on the field and not while wearing the NFL logo.
Let’s put this protest in context. What if similar demonstrations occurred during other more common jobs. All non-violent, all with a direct message, all that we’re certain there’s passion for to one degree or another. What if you:
- were a greeter at Walmart and started each greeting with “Al Gore is my god”,
- were a server at Starbucks and wrote “Antifa kills fascists” on the coffee cups before serving,
- were a teacher and during the pledge of allegiance you said the “Oath to ISIS”, or
- were a professional sports player and used eye black that said “we will find a cure” in support of cancer research?
Those actions would likely result in a reprimand and possible termination, i.e., your sacrifice. By the way, that last one happened to DeAngelo Williams, NFL running back. He was fined.
So consider the meaning of patriotism, consider the people who sacrificed so much for this country, and thank Pat Tillman’s family for their sacrifice.
Fire and fury and sticks and stones
If Trump’s not careful, his fire and fury comment directed at a deranged dictator who’s starved for attention may end up coming across more like Obama’s red line. You likely recall that Obama warned Asad not to cross that imaginary line under penalty of, well, fire and fury. It appeared for awhile that dictator Kim was swayed by the tough talk when he backed away from the Guam threats. Trump should have taken that as a victory, instead of encouragement to taunt him some more.
Now the world stage has been transformed into a grade school playground where even the brightest fifth grader can’t come up with an original nickname for his tether ball hogging nemesis. Rocket Man? Really? We already know that Kim Jong-un hates to be called Kim Fatty. Rocket Man just seems like a step up from there. You could call him Fatty Bottle Rocket Boy, Fatty McRound Squat, Baby Fat Kimmy,… of course, someone of Trump’s girth may want to stay away from the fat jokes.
Confederacy of Drones 