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In light of her recent difficulties with factual statements, Hillary Clinton has offered up a unique debate format that’s sure to please her Democrat supporters. The Clinton camp has suggested that Hillary remain silent during the first Presidential debate between her and Donald Trump.
Appearing on this past Sun-day’s Face The Nation, a lower level operative in the Clinton campaign confirmed that the Democrat Presidential nominee has opted for the silent treatment. This was quickly applauded by the media. George Stephanopoulos noted that the approach allows for more hon-est-appearing news coverage. At a recent Clinton’s Righteously Inspired Media Elation (CRIME) rally the “Fourth Estate” unanimously applauded the bold move, with many noting that it was much easier to interpret an eye roll rather than an ambiguous statement like “I didn’t have classified material on my home server.”
“We’re much better at interpreting the vast intricacies of body language than we are at interpreting what’s meant through verbal communications”, stated Stephanopoulos following his shift as CRIME turd polisher.
This would appear to be a win-win strategy given the propensity of her opponent for being his own worst enemy. Inspired by the news, Trump immediately held a press conference and stated, “Bulieve me, it’’ll be great, it’ll be fantastic and I know about being fantastic. By the way, you’re welcome. It’s not everyone that can get Crooked Hillary to shut up.”
Confederacy of Drones received an exclusive preview of the debate format guidelines. Although Clinton will not actually speak, this table provides guidance on noises and body language allowed.
Just exactly where are we going. Only time will tell. Consider the poem by Arthur Guiterman.
“On the Vanity of Earthly Greatness
The tusks which clashed in mighty brawls
Of mastodons, are billiard balls.
The sword of Charlemagne the Just
Is Ferric Oxide, known as rust.
The grizzly bear, whose potent hug,
Was feared by all, is now a rug.
Great Caesar’s bust is on the shelf,
And I don’t feel so well myself.”
To put this in a more short term perspective, we offer:
“You feel as though we’re likely doomed,
because a showdown shortly looms.
Your cheer, though, follows your bodily health,
but I’m not feeling so well myself.”
– Confederacy of Drones
The Confederacy of Drones is taking a short vacation. First stop is Seattle and it’s clear that there’s no escaping politics. They’ve even built a statue to Hillary’s baggage.
It’s hard to imagine that it took a video game to get kids back outdoors, as well as a few millennials. While outdoors, we’re hoping they can keep a keen eye out for a few things that haven’t been seen in a very long time:
- Trump’s humility
- Hillary’s emails
- Reverence to elders
- Truth out of Hillary’s mouth
- Trump’s dignity
- Dryer-consumed socks
- Honest media
- An attention span
- Respect for law enforcement
- Obama’s foreign policy
- Term limits for congress
- A third party with a chance
- Working turn signals
- Gentleman behavior
- Road politeness
- Thick skin
Good luck kids. Just stay off my lawn.