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Our award-winning investigative journalism recently uncovered and infiltrated a secret society deep in the bowels of Washington DC. What we originally thought was a book signing for “Bringing Back the Best of Bolshevism”, was actually a group dedicated to gumming up the works within the Trump administration. As we approached the door to the new home of Barrack H. Obama, it was clear that we were out of place in this palatial $6 million residence. Despite our trepidation we proceeded to knock. As a pair of eyes peered through a slot in the door, a voice said, “password please.” With the fortunate guess of “Workers of the world unite” a series of clicks and chain rattles proceeded and, bingo, we were in.
What followed was an embarrassing mix of chants, animal sacrifices, and party games like “pin the blame on the elephant.” The evening culminated with the chair of the Shenanigan Committee, Valerie Jarrett, statusing their 87 page checklist for disrupting the Trump administration. Provided below is a photo of one page of that plan captured while attendees were busy practicing their nose-up-eyes-closed-look-of-disdain sneer.
Our reporting would be incomplete if we didn’t mention the best part of the evening, an amazing spread of comfort food provided by Michelle Obama, including chicken wings, fried cheese curds, little chocolate doughnuts, mugs of warm gravy and Lipitor.
If you listened, watched or attended the recent CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference) you’d likely come away with a sense of American pride, unity and focus. If you read the mainstream media’s account or even just their headlines, you’d get quite a different story. Not only can they not help but interject bias in the news, they seem unable to avoid its intrusion in headlines. This insinuated pessimism might make one think they were referring to the dysfunction within the DNC. But no, they’ve managed to suggest that a cohesive, patriotic event was actually an exercise in turmoil, angst and equivocation. Here are a few actual headlines as examples….
Given this tendency toward hate-filled cynicism, we thought we’d contribute a few examples for the fakestream media to consider if they’re really serious about misleading through headline bias….
Ivanka’s perfume made from the tears of social justice warriors
Bannon leaks news: Wash Monument to be moved to Mexican border as part of new wall
Misogynist CPAC has no representation from ugly women
Oval Office desk replaced with folding card table and bust of Hitler
Planned parenthood offices to be walled up and then closed by national guard units as part of training for the deportation Dreamers and people who like puppies
Metal detectors at CPAC just another symbol for a “wall”
Fed US govt to be moved from Wash DC to Kansas City, MO
WH planning a pamphlet describing best ways to disenfranchise the LBGTQRST-UVWXYZ community.
Not a single left handed, bi-sexual albino at CPAC
Melania a sex slave; Baron a highly intelligent robot
Minorities spotted at CPAC presumed to be named Tom, Uncle Tom
Gluton consumption rampant at CPAC
Racist Flag unfurled at CPAC during singing of Star Spangled Banner. Referred to as “Old Glory” an obvious trigger to the elderly
Guest blogger: Chuck Goergen
Not only do we Americans rely on our nuclear weapon umbrella as a deterrent to enemy threats, countries across the world are trusting their security to being under our nuclear umbrella. Is it getting threadbare? If it ever had to be exercised, how sure are we it would perform its function? The nuclear triad is getting old. You could argue that there have been no new system designs or nuclear testing since the late 1980s/early 1990s. There have been rebuilds and life extension programs but there is no capability to do any large-scale production of the nuclear cores. The nuclear infrastructure that built our current stockpile no longer exists. Some might argue the skills have also atrophied.
There is not a contention that the stockpile is non-functional. Each year the heads of NNSA’s weapons labs sign assurance memos that their designed systems will perform if called upon. The science based stockpile is a projection. Weapon system lifetimes are being extrapolated (versus interpolated) as we have never been in this situation. With the gravitas of how we rely on this deterrent to stabilize world politics, how sure are we? What level of confidence of performance reliability do we need: 50/50, 75/25, 95/5, 99.5/0.5 or higher?
Most of the authorizations for the current stockpile date back to Jimmy Carter, who was focused on improving the safety of the stockpile. Could new systems be designed that take advantage of advances in technology since the 1990s? Compare the advances in phones, cars, radios, TV, computers, etc. since the 1980s. There are proliferant countries in the world that have active nuclear weapon development programs. What if there were a breakout? Would the United States be able to mobilize to answer the threat? Will our stockpile be a reliable deterrent?
America’s Nuclear Umbrella is getting old. My viewpoint would be that the whole system needs a comprehensive review.
The Washington Post recently unveiled their thought provoking new masthead. See below.
It got us to thinking that there must have been quite a few selections considered before landing on Democracy Dies in the Dark. Our crack team of reporters then made it their mission to scour the streets of DC to find the rejected mastheads. And by “scour” we mean dumpster diving behind WaPo’s headquarters. Buried deeply beneath the tear soaked We’re With Her t-shirts and the reams of used Saul Alinsky checklists, we found the following mother load of discarded mastheads.
Liberals appear to be fixated with Hitler. Note these classy quotes:
His supporters are like “good Germans” in “Hitler’s Germany.” Harry Stein, Esquire magazine.
“I could not help remembering how economic turmoil had conspired with Nazi nationalism and militarism—all intensified by Germany’s defeat in World War I—to send the world reeling into catastrophe… It is not entirely mistaken to contemplate our post-election state with fear and trembling.” John Roth, Claremont College professor.
“We sometimes have the feeling that we are living in the time preceding the election of Adolf Hitler as Chancellor of Germany.” Fidel Castro.
And liberals have been fixated for some time. For these quotes above were actually pointed at Ronald Reagan the day after his election in 1980.