Latest Event Updates
Outlaw politicians from using the word “trillion” (we have a new way to describe the cost of government proposals)
Around election time, which is continual, politicians throw the word “trillion” around hoping taxpayers haven’t a clue to its meaning. So when Bernie says his green new deal will cost $16 trillion, he knows the number 16 doesn’t sound too outrageous. In this case, though, 16 is a very big number. And not big like I bought 16 whole rotisserie chickens at Costco. And not even big like, I bought 16 Costco’s. No. Much. Much bigger.
We looked at this carefully in our post from February 10, 2018 where we evaluated the relative size of $20 trillion, our national debt at the time. As an example, did you know that:
If a reality TV show had 20 trillion words of dialog spoken and ran 24 hours a day, every day, it would last for 250 thousand years.
To help better communicate the size of a trillion, let’s look at the current national debt which stands at $22,535,028,300,000 or as your congressman or woman would put it, a little over $22 trillion. There must be a better way to portray the enormously large $22 trillion debt so that it more effectively communicates the impact on taxpayers.
We offer you a new descriptive unit for the dollar other than “trillion.” We’re calling it drone dollars. It’s the dollars each taxpayer owes for any proposal you hear from your congress-gender-non-specific person. We use “drone” since so many taxpayers just wander through life guided by the “great ideas” from our politicians. We even designed a symbol for it:
You get a national debt in drone dollars of $160,000. So just like Howard Beale in Network, we want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, stick your head out and yell “my share of the national debt is $160,000!” Oh yeah, and “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore!”
By the way, if you do decide to take a peak at the “live” national debt clock, note that it only takes 5 seconds to rack up your drone dollars – $160,000 .
Mad as hell yet?
*[Here we’re using the number of tax returns filed and yes we know it’s an average and yes we haven’t included the 9% collected from corporate taxes – which by the way comes from profits which come from sales which come from people. And taxpayers are people.]
Comey expecting an apology after his integrity collapse was like John Wilkes Booth expecting Ford’s Theatre to apologize because the balcony was too high. We scoured historical records to come up with the greatest examples of ego-driven apology requests, or at least those as we recalled them:
- Hillary voters and their apology request from the pharmaceutical companies for not finding a cure for the embarrassing itch of TDS.
- Harvey Weinstein’s request for an apology from Hollywood actresses for taking advantage of his connections.
- Never-Trumpers need an apology from the DNC for putting up such a horrible presidential candidate to run against Trump.
- Bill Clinton’s need for an apology from the U.S. House for his impeachment. It was perjury. It’s not like he was weaponizing the government against another candidate.
- Hillary needs an apology from EVERYONE for ruining her presidential coronation. Perhaps someday we’ll write a four part post in tabular form listing each of those who owe her an apology and the reasons why.
- Jeffrey Epstein needs an apology from MADP (Mothers Against Drunk Perverts) for wanting chaperones on the Lolita Express.
- U.S. Rep. Hank Johnson needs an apology from God for building Guam so it could tip over.
- Obama needs an apology from Biden for running for president and helping to ruin BO’s legacy.
The Obamas spent lavishly for a new home that previously served as their vacation getaway. With the resulting carbon footprint for a mansion of this size, we’re certain the former first family is struggling to identify appropriate offsets, you know, since the fate of the planet is in the balance.
Fortunately, Barrack and Michelle are in the process of taking significant steps to ward off total planetary destruction. To ensure we had the most timely information possible, the Obamas provided the following list of carbon cutting steps to us via an Airbus 380.
- Forced electric shock therapy for CNN anchors will be reduced to two nights a week.
- Secret service personnel will begin taking shifts riding the power generating bicycle.
- On Tuesday’s, only the deep end of the pool will be heated.
- Barrack and Michelle promise to fly together for grocery shopping trips to Hawaii.
- Instead of charcoal for the charcoal pit, the chef’s will burn Biden-for-President signs.
- Ice from the fjords of Norway will no longer be flown to Martha’s Vineyard to chill the Armand de Brignac Champagne. Instead the Obama’s will take the champagne to Norway.
The Obamas must have complete confidence that these actions will result in significant carbon reductions. How else could you explain buying a retirement mansion on the ocean. You know, the ocean that will rise and wipe out humanity in only a few years.