The new and improved Mitt, aka, Pierre Delecto
Mitt Romney, being in a perpetual search for a spine, has finally discovered Twitter, and gee, you don’t even have to use your real name. Armed with newfound, Twitter-inspired boldness, Romney is feeling like his courageous old self… from way back in high school … when he gave someone an unwelcomed haircut.
Since he needs a nom de plume for tweeting why not something French? And Pierre Delecto is born. “C’est moi” exclaimed Romney, because that’s another French term Pierre would use.
Romney realizes the chutzpah he can command with an alter-ego. If only that spine-inducing social media personage were in play during the 2012 election. Romney replayed in his mind key moments during his battle with the Democrats when they used every dirty trick in the book to secure Obama’s re-election. This well documented, footnoted and thoroughly annotated book includes such dastardly historical feats as convincing the country to change clocks by an hour twice a year, securing an actual swamp for the nation’s capital and slipping the phrase “pull my finger” into the Gettysburg address.
[As a side note, the dirty tricks book was rewritten during the next four years to include using the IRS to target political foes, banning the word “terrorism” to solve terrorism, spying on political opponents, and short sheeting beds in Trump hotels.]
As Pierre Delecto, Romney would have had the perfect response to Harry Reid’s claim that the 2012 Republican nominee was a tax cheat. Instead of just saying “am not” under his breath, Pierre would have provided an angry rebuttal with fists pounding on the table, fingers pointing, and demons storming from hell to fling exercise bands at Reid’s face.
“That would show ‘em”, exclaimed Romney… to himself… in a soft dignified whisper.