election

Hillary’s newly discovered lies

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Spinning

A few tongue-in-cheek Hillary lies that were recently uncovered.

“Actually, I was named after Hillary Duff.”

 

“Let me be clear, my vote on the 2002 Iraq Was was to not disallow the non-peaceful contrary efforts at un-destablizing pro-antimilitary action.”

 

Anytime she begins with “Let me be clear…”

 

“Truth be told, I was actually taking fire from an angry mob slinging baba ghanoush.”

 

Anytime she begins with “Truth be told…”

 

“I’m so pro-woman that I’m wearing a fat suit just to help me relate to body-conscious ladies.”

 

“Really, what happened was I thought ‘server’ meant personal butler.”

 

“I have a deep connection with the average working people of this great nation who are dead broke like me.”

 

“We will mercilessly defeat the energetic non-denominational radical extremists through a heightened plea for inter-faith calm and reconciliation.”

 

“Ha ha ha ha cackle snort snort cackle”

 

“I’m shocked.”

 

“If I like my email server, I can keep my email server.”

 

“We came, we saw, Gaddafi died.  What’s the worst that can happen?

 

“I actually preferred a watch-your-step-or-I-might-unload-a-can-of-overseas-contingency-on-your-ass button instead of a reset button.”

 

“I really miss Vince Foster.”

 

 

Pandering, er, I mean tours.

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Tours

Now that the presumptive presidential nominee for the Democrats knows who’s she’ll be running against, she’s going “touring” again.  First “listening” and now “breaking down barriers.”  We thought we’d offer up a few tours that will likely be high on Hillary’s list of tour topics.

  1. Kill Coal Industry Tour (unless I’m in West Virginia then Go Mountaineers Tour)

  2. Make America Average Again Tour

  3. My God, Can’t We Keep the Bimbos From Bill Tour

  4. Bernie is Such a Pussy Tour

  5. Watch Me Finish Bernie Off Like Roman Gladiator Against a Peasant Tour

  6. Never Poor Again Tour

  7. Hurry To The White House Before the Ghosts of Politics Past Come Back to Haunt Me Tour

  8. Where’s MY “Tingle-up-the-leg” Moment? Tour

  9. Can’t Blame You Bill, I’d Do Her Too Tour

  10. The Frank Underwood’s An Amatuer Tour

  11. Inappropriate Cackling Tour

  12. Pantsuit on Fire Tour

  13. Opaque Transparency Tour

  14. Transparent Opaque Tour

  15. Dammit Just Coronate Me Already Tour

Never mind, she’s already rolling along on all of these tours at once.  Let’s just call it the Tour Tour.

How to get away with murder

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Shoot

Choose your victim carefully.

 

 

Hillary’s finding her message

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Todays Campaign

Hillary may be finally honing in on just the right language to appease the remote left.  Bernie has certainly aided her with his free stuff message, but she’s also done well vilifying the right.  The bad, racist, misogynist, and greedy right.  Stay tuned for her to make hay with the Senate’s refusal to consider Judge Garland’s nomination.  Absent in that discussion will be the play book on judicial nominee stonewalling written by Joe Biden, Barack Obama, Ted Kennedy, Dick Durbin and Chuck Schumer.  We even have a new verb coined by democrats to summarize the process, to “bork.”

Absent in her message is anything on national security.  She and her supporters would disagree with that though.  After all the greatest threat, according to that distant left thinking mindset, is climate change.

Election perspectives

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Elections

Quite a contrast between Iraq elections of a decade ago and those today in America.